Australiana by Yumna Kassab

Author:Yumna Kassab
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ultimo Press
Published: 2020-12-26T00:00:00+00:00

IF YOU DARE

Michaela is fat, Michaela’s a balloon, Michaela’s bigger than the fat old moon.

She hurries, trying to ignore the chant. It had started in kindergarten. It had followed her into high school. The first time she heard it, she cried. The teachers asked her what was wrong and she couldn’t speak to tell them. That was kindergarten and ten years later, they pick up the chant. She is being pushed to the ground, their faces grinning down at her, a kick to the shins, a kick to her back. When that girl kicked her in the corridor before class, she froze stupid. She couldn’t believe she had been kicked. They had all seen it but they pretended they hadn’t.

Did you see anything? I didn’t see anything.

Like that, no one had seen a thing.

It’s just fat Michaela being a balloon.

She would not cry in front of them, she would not cry in class or at school. She would wait till she was home, till she was in the shower. The hot water made her feel better, the hot water on her skin, and she stayed in there till Mum screamed for her to get out, she stayed there till she was clean and pink.

Why did they call her a balloon when some of them were bigger than her? Janey sang it the loudest … Michaela’s a balloon … but she was as big as a cow. Her of all people, Janey that fat old cow.

She knows she’s been kicked but she tells herself it didn’t happen. She tells herself that if it really happened, she would have cried. She had not cried so the kick mustn’t be real. Right? Right? No! It was real and she knew it.

Her mum had bought her cards like the ones the kids traded at school. She would take them to school and see if any of them wanted to trade with her. Maybe they would see the cards and they would forget the song.

•

At recess, they found her and they found her cards. They took her cards, they took her lunch. Janey held a card up and ripped it with her teeth. ‘Michaela is fat … Michaela’s a balloon …’

One of Janey’s friends snatched the rest of the cards from the ground—they were so shiny and new—and dangled one in front of Michaela’s nose. She flicked it in Michaela’s face, and Michaela was cool, she was breathing deep, she was ignoring them as the counsellor taught her to do. Breathe in … Michaela is fat … breathe out … Michaela’s a balloon … breathe in … breathe out.

Janey threw the card at her face and it hit her in the eye. Breathe in … there was a roaring in her head … breathe out … it was red everywhere … and she lunged at Janey, grabbed her head and smacked it into the ground. ‘Who’s fat, who’s a balloon?’ She punched Janey’s eyes, her nose, her mouth, that cow, her ears, and Janey began

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